英语搞笑剧本范文

2024-07-25

英语搞笑剧本范文（精选5篇）

英语搞笑剧本第1篇

Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)

by Cecilia Liu ⑩芬

5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒，搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。

人物

Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen

Eliza Lin: Daughter

Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside

Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)

Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)

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SCENE I

A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.

Mom: Hello~

Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.

Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!

The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…

Mom: Hello~

Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?

Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.

Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, “mom, help me~ help me~)

Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)

But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…

Mom: Eliza~

Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?

Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.

Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.

SCENE II英语剧本大全ww.coffbar.com

Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.

The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.

The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.

Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)

Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.

At this moment, the girl appears.

Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?

Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.

Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!

Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!

Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!

Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?

Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?

Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.

Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.

Eliza: Never mind!

Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?

Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…

Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.

Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.

Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~

Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.

Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!

Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.

Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.

Eliza goes with the gangsters.

In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, ”Don’t move!“ Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.

Eliza: What are you doing?

Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!

Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.

Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?

Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.

Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!

Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!

Eliza keeps crying.

Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!

Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)

Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)

Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.

Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.

SCENE III

Mother is preparing dinner.

Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!

No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.

Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.

As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.

Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!

Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.

Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!

Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!

Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!

Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)

Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.

The gangster takes the phone away.

Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.

Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.

Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?

Mom: Bargain is my hobby.

Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.

Mom: O.K. See you then!

At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.

Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)

The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor.

Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?

Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.

Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?

Big gangster: Where is the ransom?

Mom: Release my daughter first!

Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!

Mom: No way!

And the battle begins.

Mom: Justice is always the winner.

Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!

Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.

Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved.

Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?

Small gangster: I……

Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)

Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.

Eliza: Me! Me!

Celine: What do you want to say?

Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!

Mom: My turn. My turn.

Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?

Mom: Well……

Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.

Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…

Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.

Mom: Right. And they…

Celine: They want to trick you, but…

Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.

Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.

英语搞笑剧本第2篇

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman.He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students.He has a lot of money now.But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you.I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here.I’ll be a boss soon!Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops!It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands!Never mind!Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……

Oh, my god!Never mind!Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces

加旁白1人属于4人用）

白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen.She had a pretty daughter named Snow White.Soon after the child was born, the queen died.The queen married another queen.The stepmother was very jealous.She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：(Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen.I’m very beautiful.you see.If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her.I have a magic mirror.If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming.Your Majesty!What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes.Your Majesty!You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady.She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本

Global warming

A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?

B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can’t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!

A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.（4人版本）

Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company.This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo!I finally finish this case.It is really tough!I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too.I always get so busy in this season.I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much.What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case? Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right.Let’s pig out on junk food!

Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown.I miss German food!Ca: so do I.how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before.Do you have any recommendation? Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy.But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families? Wing&Ca: No Ci: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted.Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me.what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together.I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great!That is fantastic.Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplings Wing: Very good idea!We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”

Ca: sure, here you are.what s next? Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together.be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it.shall I blend them? CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well.A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared.lets start!CiCi: Wait!I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these? Ca: Wow!Cheese!Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God.Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!

英语老师的搞笑语录第3篇

◎我们当老师的容易吗？为了你们我每天连15个小时的睡眠时间都不能保证！

◎我经常和我的同事讲，要想开心就来听我上课，绝对能陶冶你的情操，净化你的灵魂，提升你的境界；要想闹心就去看我的学生写的作文，肯定能让你产生强烈的自卑感。

◎晚上挑灯夜战，白天瞌睡打盹，对于你们这种“卖了儿子招女婿”的做法我很难理解！

◎上我的课时，眨眼的时间间隔不要太长，不然的话我会以为你是在睡觉。

◎上课有睡意的时候要尽量克制，如果坚持不住的话，也必须保证睡觉的姿势是正确的——身体上部和课桌面成90°角，最好能达到“硬挺头颅永不倒，纵然嘴角水滔滔”的境界。

◎失败不一定是成功之母，如果不吸取教训好好总结，失败有可能会成为成功的奶奶，也有可能你的失败会从此得上不育症，永远也生不出成功。

◎你们再看这个单词最后一眼吧，因为这属于千年等一回的那一类，见过这一面有可能就和它永别了，千万别花时间记这种单词，很不实惠。

◎通过词根词缀记单词特高效，往往可以达到一箭双雕的效果，如果那只雕怀孕了的话，还会有意外的收获。

◎大声喊英语能让一个人的心态变得更加的彪悍，在我还是男孩的时候，我腼腆得就像羞答答的玫瑰，在课堂上站起来回答个问题都紧张得要死。但现在昵，我去××主任办公室的心情，就像上厕所一样轻松。

◎我就纳闷了，同样是我×××的学生，这作文的差距咋就这么大呢？有的人是“思路如泉涌，下笔如有神”，而有的人则是“小脑一阵抽搐，大脑一片空白”，啥玩意儿都想不起来！

◎我写的句子，含金量高，打击面广，杀伤力强，背我写的句子绝对能达到以一当十、事半功倍的效果，如能滚瓜烂熟脱口而出，即便考试时大脑一片空白，用小脑也能把题目搞定！

◎学英语―定要大胆地喊出来，发音不好也没关系，反正痛苦的又不是你。◎早上最好能5点钟就起来读英语，如果实在起不来，我可以给你们介绍一种屡试不爽的方法——每晚睡觉前喝两大杯水。当然，睡在上铺的同学使用此方法时需谨慎。◎坐在第一排的学生真幸福，你们不仅能第一时间听到我的声音，还可以经常吸些粉笔灰补补钙。◎农村有句土话叫“你一撅屁股我就知道你要拉什么屎”，说这话的人肯定是在吹牛。但我敢说“你一张嘴我就知道你发什么音”，因为你口型如果不对，发音就不可能标准！◎这种作文如果没得满分，那只有两种可能，要么阅卷老师嫉妒你，要么他误以为你抄袭了范文！◎我现在擦黑板，你们也别闲着，可以顺便欣赏一下我美丽的背影！

◎笔记记那么整齐干什么呀，我在黑板上怎么画你们在笔记本上就怎么画，下课后，看看自己凌乱的笔记，想想××老师清晰的思路，基本上这辈子也就忘不了了。

◎今天考最后一场了，大家可千万别有什么想法，免得一失足成千古恨，搞得晚节不保，我的习惯是只下雨不打雷，―旦发现你有小动作，我会默默地记下你的名字，以备秋后算账，别以为平时和你们关系都不错，我这人最大的优点就是关键时刻能够做到大义灭亲！

◎父亲的希望永远寄托在下一代，但下一代究竟是哪一代呢？应该是你们，因为你们还年轻，有责任，也还有机会去改变自己和家族的命运，将来我不会对我的孩子说“我就靠你了”，我会底气十足地告诉他“你老爸非常牛，你也应该非常牛”！

英语搞笑话剧剧本第4篇

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到“香国”。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

搞笑英语话剧剧本(修改版) 第5篇

搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

演员表：

西门吹雪

叶孤城

花满楼

打更的太监

旁白

道具：牛奶两袋，纸屑若干。

第一幕：决战乡村陌路

旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.Birds are dancing in the cold.A man is walking along the street, step by step.Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches.打更的太监：The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire!I’m 打酱油的！

Y与X相遇．

X：Ohm, I’m sorry to knock you!

Y: Ha-ha, Never mind baby.X: Excuse me, Could you tell me your name?

Y: ha ha, I won’t change my name!No matter what happens.I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng（登登登登！！）.Who are you?

X: I’m ximenchuixue.Y(惊讶): Ar, ximenchuixue?

X: Yes, what is wrong?

Y: I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?

X: Great, you know me!

Y(抱腿)：Please, please…… Don’t kill me!Let me go!

X: No, I must kill you!

Y: I don’t want to be killed.Let me go!

X: No way!You know?